We've all googled before right? And usually while typing our search term into the box, we see a list of suggestions based on what we've typed thus far. Occasionally we pause to read this list of suggestions, and seen something completely outrageous listed. In today's list, I've compiled just a few of those outrageous search terms.
The Effed Up Google Search List
Effed Up Google Search #294
How do you get pregnant?
-If you have to google this, you probably shouldn't be trying to get pregnant in the first place.
Effed Up Google Searches #1166-1168
Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Why don't I have a girlfriend?
Why don't I have any friends?
-If you have to google this, that's probably why you can't get one in the first place. Try googling "social skills" instead.
Effed Up Google Searches #703-706
Why does my belly button smell?
Why do my balls smell?
Why do zits smell?
Why do farts smell worse in water?
-Come on. This is just gross.
Effed Up Google Search #515
Why do Mexicans come to America?
-Why the hell wouldn't they?
Effed Up Google Search #1347
How to become a vampire.
-I knew that Twilight shit was actually mass brainwashing...
Effed Up Google Search #108
Why do British people have bad teeth?
-Haven't you heard? Austin Powers is their idol!
Effed Up Google Searches #32-36
Why do Mexicans smell?
Why do Indians smell?
Why do Arabs stink?
Why do Asians stink?
Why do old people smell?
-It would seem everyone stinks or smells now and again. Why ask why?
Effed Up Google Searches #809-811
Why do zombies eat brains?
Why do zombies not attack each other?
Why do zombies exist?
-I'm not sure I even have anything to say to this.
Effed Up Google Search #956
How to train your dragon.
-(*hangs head in shame*) SEE: Effed Up Google Searches #809-811 for comment.
Effed Up Google Searches #188-190
Why do ugly guys get hot girls?
Why do ugly girls get boyfriends?
Why do ugly people exist?
-If you have to google this, chances are you're jealous of someone you claim is "ugly". This makes you feel insecure. You should google "local psychiatrists" instead.
Effed Up Google Search #2000
How to quit my job.
-Well, the answer to this is surprisingly simple, and we have many options available to quit your job. My first recommendation would be to find another job. Then, once said job is secured, you can:
A: Walk in to work, and give a "two weeks notice". This is accepted as common practice for quitting a job. In two weeks time, you can officially stop attending work.
B: Walk in to work, and tell your boss: "I quit!" (Doesn't that just blow your effin' mind?)
C: Stop going. I'm sure they'll get the hint someday.
Effed Up Google Search #99
How to pass a drug test.
-Stop doing drugs. Just an idea.
Effed Up Google Search #1752
How to jerk.
-I know there was probably more to this, but either way it made me laugh.
Effed Up Google Search #1101
How to impress a French girl.
-I guess there are different criteria for impressing French women as opposed to other women.
Effed Up Google Search #329
How to find your celebrity look alike.
-As if we all had a celebrity look alike.
Effed Up Google Searches #643-647
What do I want for Christmas?
What do I want to eat?
What do I do with my life?
What do you want from me?
Why is life so hard?
-I don't think the answers you're looking for can be found on google.
Effed Up Google Searches #9999-Infinite
How do I google (fill in appropriate idiotic search term here)?
-(*Can't respond, is too busy banging head against wall*)
Effed Up Google Searches #11-12
What do flowers mean?
What do Jack's tattoos mean?
-(*Hasn't stopped banging head against wall*)
Effed Up Google Search #492
What do leprechauns eat?
Why do leprechauns wear green?
-Silly Rabbit! Trix are for kids!
Effed Up Google Search #2083
What do quizzes really know about you?
-Answer: Nothing. Well they must know everything they claim to, otherwise you wouldn't be taking them would you?
Effed Up Google Search #33585
Why is crack cheaper than coke?
-Try asking your local crack head. On second thought, maybe you're better off with google.
Effed Up Google Search #770-772
Why is the sky blue?
Why is the grass green?
Why is google called google?
-Hello, God? Yeah, Mr. Trump just called. He says you're fired.
Hello, Google? Congratulations, you've just been promoted!
Effed Up Google Search #1
-The fact that I only had to type in "why c" to get this to come up is a scary thought.
The sad part is, I can almost guarantee that Google has an answer to everyone of those questions (*more head banging*). Anyway, stay tuned for another list next week.
-The Girl Who Loves to Whine
P.S. For Effed Up Google Search #2 (or debatably #1) type "why is t" into the google search box. I didn't want to get banned from blogspot for offensive content, and wasn't ballsy enough to include it here. If you can't figure out which one it is, there's probably something wrong with you.
P.P.S. Also, whoever said "There's no such thing as a stupid question," was a complete and utter moron.