I spent the better part of this morning on a hunt to gain even one follower. I've already tried Friend. Her computer broke. She has a Microsoft computer. Microsoft is shit. Sorry Bill. I made the switch to Apple about 3 years ago and I'll never go back. That is not to say I love everything about Macs, but since I've owned mine I've never had to say "My computer is broken." This is way off subject I know. I have A.D.D.. My boyfriend would argue that it's actually A.D.H.D., but he's not a doctor.
I tried the Google Coffee Shop. I want to post my blog on one of those "You read mine, I'll read yours" threads. But all the good ones with lots and lots of activity, seem to have been "answered" and are no longer open for replies. Google Coffee Shop, you are also shit.
My mom, The Chicken's Consigliere, (the only blog I currently follow, you should check it out too) says the best way to get readers is to follow other people's blogs and leave comments. Since Mom is always right, I started a very long search for an even remotely interesting blog that I wouldn't mind following. I checked out a lot of blogs on Google Coffee Shop in those threads that won't allow me to "answer" the non-existent questions there.
I found blogs about being physically fit and losing weight. This seems a little strange to me. If I was interested in losing weight or being physically fit, my ass wouldn't be plunked on the couch searching for blogs. It would be outside or at the gym instead.
I found a blog about a British guy who has apparently had a disastrous dating life. I read one of his posts and the only thing funny about it was the part where he told his date he was going to the bathroom and then ditched her at the table. While the rest of his story was mildly entertaining, Plenty of Fish already has 762 followers. And since large crowds make me nauseous, I decided to move on.
I also found a Diary of a Fat Chick. While it was nice to find someone in the world wide web who could make a joke out of her... um... fatness... I couldn't find anything interesting on the site.
I found an Indian guy, I think, (and I mean Indian, not Native American) whose blog I nearly subscribed to. He had a funny story about some test he went to take, a girl he met at the test, and then proceeded to take to lunch. My problem with this one was that the story in itself wasn't that funny, but more the way he worded things. For example, I think "Should we hire an auto?" really means "Want to take a taxi?" but I'm not really sure. I have a feeling english is his second language. This would be fine - and more power to him, (I can speak two languages too, if you count Spanglish) - except that subscribing to a site because you think their english is funny is for lack of a better term, Fucked Up. (Not that I'm denying being Fucked Up, it's just that my Fucked Uppedness is generally reserved for myself, friends, family and boyfriend only.) Deciding that Stirrup King deserved another chance, (and generally feeling guilty about thinking his english was humorous, because truthfully it's pretty good) I clicked on a different post in his blog. Someone named Rajnikanth came into the story and killed a bee with his flying sword. Feeling more than a little dazed and confused, I decided to move on.
Next I found my way onto a blog about a girl who had apparently just been dumped. The content of her blog was borderline insane. It was in fact so horrifying, that I was actually compelled to continue reading the entirety of the content of her site. (Lucky me, there were only 3 posts.) While some of it was indeed funny, (i.e. the pervert named Brian she met online and was thinking she liked and then blocked a mere 30 hours after meeting him) I felt it was wrong to follow her blog when I would be laughing at her and not with her. She's probably not even laughing. Also, just in case the "I follow you, you follow me" scheme actually works, I really didn't want this mentally unstable person leaving comments on my blog.
Then there was Sexy Bitchy Fabulous. She looked like she was semi-normal. But her posts were mostly pictures, and the few words she had on the page weren't that interesting. She should just get a Facebook.
Thus, I gave up.
Maybe I'll try some of the followers on my Mom's blog. We have similar tastes, so maybe I'll get lucky.