Thursday, June 10, 2010

Internet Crazies

So I changed my mind. I do have something to say this week. And it isn't a list. So I'm sorry. Although that may be up a little later this week as well. Anyway...

Anyone else out there encounter an over abundance of internet psychos lately? Or is it just me? I mean I know there are always crazies on the internet, but I've felt pretty safe in the blogging community... until recently.

While I was "researching" in Google Coffee Shop on embedding YouTube videos on my blog, I came across a discussion topic:

"Someone is saying slanderous things about me on the internet and Google won't remove their content!!!"

Me, being the nosy, arrogant, "If someone's talking trash about you you must have deserved it what did they say?" BITCH that I am, I simply had to know. So I clicked it. The person went on and on and on about how this other person made an entire blog dedicated to ruining this person.

Me: *cue Evil snickering laugh* I have GOT to see this.

So the crazy that can't get slanderous things removed from the web, actually provided the link to the so called slanderous website. Of course I clicked. How could I help myself.

I was hugely disappointed. There was no back and forth banter of:

Crazy #1: BITCH!
Crazy #2: SLUT!
Crazy #1: BITCH SLUT!

I was really looking forward to that. I'm sick and I have problems I know. These are the things that amuse me. Instead was the LONGEST most DRAGGED on REPETITIVE post I'd ever seen about how this person (Crazy #2 & blog writer) was simply defending herself from the attacks of Crazy #1 (who can't get slanderous things being said about her removed from the internet.) It was awful.

Crazy #1 apparently contacted all the people who posted on Crazy #2's Cockadoodle business website, (yes, cockadoodle), under over ONE HUNDRED known aliases saying not to buy from Crazy #2 because she raises her dogs in a metal tin shed and if you don't buy her puppies she sends them to a puppy mill to be turned into glue. Or something. It was ridiculous. A little further reading revealed that Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 are actually sisters. Dear Jesus. This is insane.

Ever seen any of the Transformers movies? You know at the end when they're battling and taking out like every building in sight? As if the world were their playground? That's how it felt. Like watching Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 hurl each other into buildings all over the internet city and wrecking it for the rest of us because they can't KEEP IT TO THEM FUCKING SELVES!!

Then on 20 Something Bloggers there's this poor girl who wrote about eTextbooks and now old men won't stop harassing her with irrelevant comments about her age and how "if you don't like to debate you shouldn't blog". Ummm..... okay.

Hello? Dumb ass? Yeah, unless the title of the blog is "I Love to Argue, Please Disagree with me Here," then blogging isn't for debating you fucking idiot. It's a place where you can state your opinions and if people would like to share their differing opinions then fine, but don't keep it going. If you don't like what you're reading, then don't fucking read it. Hey! Hey YOU! If you don't like it, you can just click that little X button in the upper left hand corner of your browser window! Get it? Do you? Oh good. So please SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Then another 20 Something Blogger, who definitely wins the ULTIMATE psycho blogger crazy award, responded to a discussion topic about how to lose weight. I think she responded to every single person who posted an answer. Mind you, she didn't even start the effin' discussion. She told us all how we were wrong about how to lose weight, she was the only person who was right, and ketones and catatonic states and blah blah blah. I made the mistake of clicking on her profile and blog link. As it turns out, I've met this crazy before. I hated her blog the first time I read it. And guess what? After having read it a 2nd time, I HATE IT EVEN MORE!

She is a PSYCHO!! Her motto is "smoke yourself". Ummm, yeah 'cause I wanna do that. The idea is you should spend every spare second of your time working out. You should eat an insane diet. And a woman isn't physically fit unless she looks like a man (i.e. six pack abs, broad shoulders, muscular thighs, muscular arms).

Every other post is about her hatred for fat people. She actually wrote an entire post about "Fatness Acceptance". She claims that "because people choose to be fat, it is not wrong of me to hate fat people because that is a choice they make. It isn't like being racist because you don't choose your race. You choose to be fat." She started the post by saying that "people who take up two seats on an airplane should have to pay for two seats."

This makes me really fucking angry. I'm sorry but it does. It's all I can do not to send her a nasty email. Seriously. I've been considering it. But that would probably land me in this Internet Crazies post and I can't do that to myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't take up two seats on an airplane, and I don't consider myself fat, but the fact that someone would say these things blows my mind. I don't tolerate racism or any such shit that might also qualify as racism.


1. Not every woman wants to look like a man. In fact I find women that look like men completely unattractive. While I wouldn't mind a flatter stomach, I don't want a six pack. And I'll gladly give you my broad shoulders because I hate them.

2. Not everyone thinks that their appearance is the ONLY thing that matters in life. In fact, food makes me way happier than appearance ever could. So when I CHOOSE the pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer instead of CHOOSING to go to bed hungry, I already know the consequences and also DON'T CARE. Doesn't that just blow your fucking mind?

3. Running marathons, working out 8 hours a day, "smoking myself" does not make me happy. Actually it makes me miserable. Do you get it now? Do you?! Not everyone's idea of happiness is identical to yours. Is it clear now? Are you catching what I'm throwing down?

4. No one reads your blog because frankly, it's the most offensive thing I've ever seen. It sickens and disgusts me.

5. You need help. You're more ignorant than a redneck with 75+ lawn ornaments and a junk yard of old trashed cars in his front dirt patch, a giant Santa Clause on his roof 365 days a year, and who drives a big old Ford truck with the those disgusting fake testicles hanging off the back.

Yeah. That's how ignorant you are.

I feel as though an apology is in order for this post. I didn't mean to go off on a rant about that last one but I find her completely infuriating. She just doesn't get it. Oh yeah, and she has like two names she identifies herself with. It's very strange.

As for all you guys... Does this offend you as well? Or is it just me? Have I completely gone over the edge on this one? Oh yeah, and since internet psychos are always fun, if you have a story about one of them feel free to leave it in the comment section.

Ok since you guys have been asking for the links to the Internet Crazies thread I'm going to post them. Don't say I didn't warn you though... (Also I couldn't figure out how to insert a lnk in the comments section so I had to do it up here. That blows.)

Crazy #2's Defensive Strategy - She actually has many many posts up about the subject but this one is the most relevant

There are other threads about how she finds fatness offensive, but these ones are good enough to make you want to puke all over her hideous man shoulders and two pack abs.


  1. "she sends them to a puppy mill to be turned into glue"
    Wow.....isnt that horses?
    You should Totally send that angry email off, you can post her response on your blog and we can all watch the psycho go psycho first hand

  2. That's one outstanding rant. Top marks.

  3. Girl, you had me at Whore Cock Gobbler.....

    You rant away because it is entertaining and I love it. She does sound like a psycho, so she deserves it.

  4. Okay.

    100% agree with you.
    in fact, you and I have a LOT of the same views. It is quite mind boggling.

    I'm sorry your eyes were damaged by reading those blogs, but seriously, thank you for the warning.

    Maybe we could set a trap for this "fat acceptance" girl. Somehow back her into a corner...

    Anyways, I think this was a fabulous rant.

    I also get just as curious and just as infuriated with such blogs and other articles out there.

    You are not alone.

  5. SJ - LOL!! Yes you're right that is horses. I couldn't remember what the exact words were, but Crazy #1 was saying things similar to that, as it turned out Crazy #1 was actually the real psycho who was saying slanderous things. I get the feeling Crazy #2 really is just trying to defend herself, but the they both act like anyone cares or wants to read their ridiculous banter. Sisters should fight at HOME, not on the internet. Also, the furious email thing might make for a hilarious post, so I'm now considering it.

    fizzee rascal - Thanks! Ranting is one of my hidden talents I suppose.

    Amber - LOL! I'm glad I could both rant and be entertaining since that was my aim. I was a little worried I'd gone off the deep end with that last one so it's good to know I haven't.

    Ella - I totally agree with you! We should set a trap for the "fat acceptance" girl. If you come up with a good one let me know!! And I know I've said this like a million times but it's always good to know I'm not alone out there!

  6. S. s'me. Chicken. Hey, are you going to give us the blog address for the crazy sisters or what? I need to read that. I didn't know Jillian had a blog. Snicker. Ok, I need smoke girl's blog, too.

  7. Well, the only thing that offended me in your post is the blatant discrimination against people who's little X button is on the right hand corner of their browser - and not on the left.. No worries, I'll get over it. :-P

    Other than that I'd love for you to share the links to the crazies' blogs!

  8. There are super crazies all over. I was following some good drama yesterday because Girl is pregnant and wasn't trying and wasn't happy at first. Girl decides to blog about the journey she's made and continuing to make. Girl posts a link on facebook. Brother in law (BIL) goes on a tirade saying how she's a disgrace and wanted an abortion because she wasn't happy at first. BIL proceeds to call her every name in the book, and expects to still see his nephew. Whew it was a doozy.

    And... it's funny you posted the thing about working out and women being ripped. My husband, while wanting me to be fit and in shape, wants to still have "a soft place to land". I know he wouldn't like it if I was all muscle.

    But... without those internet crazies, our days surely wouldn't be as exciting, would they ;)

  9. I met a crazy woman like that a gym one time. She kept going on about this no dairy blah blah diet she was on then lifted up her shirt in the hopes of impressing me when her semi-flat stomach. It wasn't even a 6 pack, just kinda bulgy in places, and she was extremely old. I wanted to tell her "I can eat dairy and not starve, work out moderately, and guys will still think I look better than you. You are not the shit."

  10. Ok, I updated the post with the links to the Crazies websites for those of you who would like to take part in my being horrified.

    Chicken- Have at it. We can discuss how idiotic, moronic, and psychotic the whole thing was after you've read them.

    Ditzy - I'm sorry about that. It's been so long since I've been on a Microsoft powered computer that I actually forgot their X buttons are on the right and not the left. My bad. I'm glad you're not to distraught though, I always love new readers!! And feel free to come back and leave more comments about the Crazies when you're done reading.

    Jessica - This sounds like the BEST drama ever!!! If there's a link to share, I sure hope you share it with me... You know the whole nosy bitch thing. It's sickening that I get enjoyment out of the havoc in other peoples lives, but that's me.

    Phoenix - LOL! OMG I know! Some of the craziest people you could meet are at the gym. I've never actually been forced to talk to any of these people but I know how you feel. I would've been thinking the exact same thing.

  11. Haha... I'm with you here. I think there are tons of psychos on the internet, it's a great place for them to come and be weird.

  12. wow...WOW...WOW
    the whole post i was thinking that the next paragraph would be on me. lol
    what an escape!

  13. veggies - yes, the internet should have been named "All Weirdos, Psychos, and Strange People Found Here"

    Amogh - How could I put you in this post? You're one of my favorite commenters!

  14. I think that your blog is very funny. Please come check out my blog as well.

    I also specialize in humor posts/videos.

  15. I checked the links out... Crazy#2 has like 3 followers... Who's even reading her rubbish???

    As for what you've written in your post, I've got to say I completely agree with everything you have to say in your post. I've gotten my share of Internet crazies too.. Not that it worked, but here's what I did...